Chapter 3: I Can Do Hard Things

Alright everyone, we're going to get a little real this time.

This past week was a bit rough for me. I had my first official meltdown.

Now before I get an overwhelming amount of text messages and phone calls I want to reassure everyone that I am alright and there is no need for you to fuss or freak out.

Most of you know that I have lived in Colorado my entire life and I know nothing more than that. I came out to Utah, because I wanted a change of scenery and to expose myself to a new environment so that I could become a more, well rounded person. And so far it has already taught me a lot. But in being a 21 year resident of Colorado that tends to create some bias', which doesn't help you when you realize that you are 8 hours from a life you have only known for that period of time. 

I am proud to say that I have never once gotten homesick. I love traveling and exploring, so it was easy for me to leave home for an extended time. I think this was because in the back of my mind I knew I would eventually get back home. 

This scenario is obviously very different. I am not coming home. (For a while at least, don't freak out about that either please. Colorado will always be home to me and I AM COMING BACK. I just don't know my return date). 

So this thought eventually began to stew in my brain and of course that never ends well for me. All of this fear and doubt began to overwhelm me and I didn't know how to handle it. I suddenly started to question why I was here and how could I ever leave such a beautiful and comfortable place such as Colorado? Was I crazy to just up and leave all of my friends and family to trek to a somewhat unfamiliar state, where I knew only a handful of people and start a job where I had no experience with the area I chose and had to start completely from scratch??

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

I then did the only thing I knew would make me feel better. I got down on my knees and I prayed. I prayed for comfort and peace, I prayed for some strength and courage too. (Heaven knows I desperately needed it). I then got up, took a deep breath and told myself these 5 words...

"I can do hard things".

I know through the Lord's love, guidance and strength I can do the things in this life that are incredibly difficult. I know it will be a daily struggle and I'm going to have to work really hard, but I know through Him, I can do it. 

Yes it was my choice to come out here, and try something new, and yes I had an inkling of an idea of how hard it was going to be. But now that I have gone through this difficult time, I now know what things I am up against and how I will kick them straight in the face. I refuse to stay down when life pushes me to the ground. 

I will get back up. Every. Single. Time.

I control my destiny and this is the direction I have chosen to go. I know it won't get any easier, but I do know that it is going to be worth it. And it will make me a better person for it too. So take that fear and doubt! You can try to take me down, and I emphasize try, but you won't succeed. 

Because I can do hard things.